Originally published on Substack on Sep 25, 2025
In today’s society, we’re further from the concept of tribe than maybe we’ve ever been. Although maybe not. Let me explain…
We all need tribes. It’s an essential part of healthy survival. Mankind developed in groups… typically extended families, which over time has migrated to church communities, work colleagues, sports teams, drinking buddies, whatever. A couple of idioms come to mind – “no man is an island” and “it takes a village to raise a child”. But do we really still believe this?
I’m sure most of us have felt increasingly isolated over the last few years. The pandemic had a massive impact on mental health, but more importantly on human connection. But the damage was done long before that. I’m not sure exactly when people stopped getting to know and trust their neighbours, but it’s certainly been a noticeable gradual thing, fuelled partly by people working longer hours and spending more time indoors in the evenings, crashed out in front of the TV or whatever.
I know, I have room to talk… I certainly didn’t stay and develop community around where I grew up. I left home at 20, moved south at 26, left my country at 35, moved internationally again at 43. But… I didn’t have that community anyway. I’m an only child, and my extended family did not live close by. At this stage, the 11 of us live across 6 countries, and we’re not particularly close. I think I was OK with this growing up, but as I’ve got older I’ve really missed this family connection. I went to school in a different town, so I didn’t have the same friend circle in my village as many of my peers. Again, nobody is particularly to blame, but it’s just how life has become for so many, particularly in the west.
I definitely feel consumerism has fuelled this separation too. We don’t all need to own every tool, every book, every utensil… if we exist in community, we borrow from each other. One person has a nail gun, one person has a set of encyclopaedias, a couple of people have barbecues, and we share. But today? You need something, you buy it on Amazon, some plastic junk that has travelled half way round the world shows up the next day, and then you put it in storage, potentially never to be used again. How much better would it be to ask a neighbour if they have what you need, or to let them know you have something if they need it? But who even knows their neighbours, never mind would trust them with your “stuff”? Even though it is only “stuff”…
But I don’t think it’s all bleak. One of the cool things about social media (at least until Meta started randomly deleting accounts and Xitter became a political cesspit) is that it provides opportunity to build new communities. Over the last couple of years particularly, I met so many new interesting people from around the world, who also believe in the importance of tribe. Who believe in body confidence, not the shame lie. Who want the world to be better, people to be authentic, families to be united and loving, communities to be strong. Some even grew up in traditional village / tribe structures, because it’s thankfully still a strong thing in many parts of the world.
It’s all part of the essential heartbeat, the rhythm of life. A community that dances together, that sings together, thrives together. You look out for those who are lagging behind, you rein in those who are getting too excited, and you create something powerful. Music and art are the most powerful things we can control in this universe, and they all exist so much better in collaboration than in isolation.
We need to return to these traditional values, but all the while embracing the opportunities of the modern world. Of AI as a tool, not a threat or a creator. Of social networks to expand and strengthen community and share common values. Because we’re not alone, and we certainly don’t need to be. But when the opportunity is there for real, in-person interaction, whether you’re an extrovert who loves a big group, or an introvert who thrives on a coffee and a quiet chat, get off the couch and take it! Because we need each other… together we are STRONG!
(Image generated by PicLumen with the prompt “A serene traditional jungle village scene, with intricately crafted wooden huts arranged around a roaring central fire, surrounded by lush tropical trees, and a gentle meandering stream flowing through the foreground, its crystal clear waters reflecting the vibrant hues of the jungle foliage”)