Originally published on my suspended Substack on Sep 18, 2025
A personal reflection
I see a lot about deconstructing these days. Commonly it’s about people leaving the church in general, either turning their back on Christianity entirely, or just becoming cheesed off with the complete absence of Christ-values in modern conservative evangelical theology, particularly in America. And I completely get that, but for me, that’s not where I’m at.
My relationship with God is in a good place. I have absolutely no interest in turning my back on Christianity. But the simple fact is, the church I’ve been attending since I’ve been in this city seems to have done. It’s come to a head since the Charlie Kirk shooting, with prominent leaders posting publicly in support of how wonderful a Christian he is, despite being a confessed misogynistic racist who made his millions from corrupting the Word of God into hate speech. But it didn’t start there. Celebrating Trump, questionable sermons, anti-LGBT rhetoric, sharing satanic body values promoting shame, anti-Christian theology… it’s bad. It’s also common in conservative churches today. And that’s scary!
Bear in mind this is a church I worked for. I was asked to step down earlier this year, for daring to share truth rather than lies, pointing out hate speech, and encouraging others, particularly young people, who embody biblically correct Christian body image, rather than the porno-prudish attitude the US media forces upon us. That’s what makes it particularly painful… that Jesus values have been abandoned because the “church” thinks it knows better.
So yes, my faith journey is taking an unexpected turn, and yes, I am “deconstructing” my relationship with one community. But I know that I am walking with God, hold Christ values in my heart, and He will see me right, whether in this city or wherever the road heads next. But right now, my heart is heavy, and I’m praying that the people there will turn back to a Jesus who’s currently disappearing in the rear-view mirror.
